Paula and Andrea's Big Bad List of the Best...
Let’s face it, folks, not all Dunks are made the same. As Andrea (@girl_likethat) and I are coffee-conossieurs, given such God-given rights by ourselves, we (mostly me) have decided to make a list of the bestest coffee places around. Factors DCQ (Determining Coffee Quality): In Massachusetts*, In the divine reach of the 495 circle*, orders are made according to what you actually ordered,...
Me and My Mom on the Phone - Part Deux
Mom: Yeah, hi what's up?
Me: You called me.
Mom: Yes I know.
Me: So you calling me would entail me asking what's up, not the other way around.
Mom: Oh yes, well I just wanted to call you and tell you...are you in the middle of something?
Mom: Well you sound distracted or busy or something.
Me: Well I'm on the phone with Andrea.
Mom: Oh. (pause) On your cell phone?
Mom: Oh, well I'll be quick.
Me: Okay, what?
Mom: Well I just wanted to tell you that your Dad told me to tell you that he left the dining room door open.
Mom: Yeah, he left it unlocked.
Me: I'm not understanding this.
Mom: Well, in case you wanted to get in.
Mom: Well in case you lock yourself out again.
Me: Mom, the door in the dining room goes into the big room.
Mom: Oh, did I say door - I meant window.
Me: What window?
Mom: The window in the dining room.
Me: What about the window in the dining room?
Mom: Well your Dad left it unlocked in case you lock yourself out again.
Mom: But then we realized we left you the garage door opener and also did not tell you that the window was open, so can you lock it?
Mom: I mean, unless you lock yourself out again.
Me: So you planned ahead for just-in-case idiocy on my part?
The Age Old Verbal Sparring Match - SOX vs. yank
Me: Hi, I have a bag and a coat checked here. And also, I found this sad, lonely little mitten upstairs - should I leave it here?
Coatcheck guy: Yeah, just leave it right there. So you a Red Sox fan?
Me: (wearing a Josh Beckett Jersey and my ridiculous Sox hat) Uh, yeah. So are you excited for truck day?
Coatcheck guy: Oh, I can't stand the Red Sox.
Me: (Completely blindsided, oh sorry this is my TOWN) What? What are you - a Yankees fan?
Coatcheck guy: Yup.
Me: Well, why the heck are you in MY state?
Coatcheck guy: ...
Me: I'm just kidding.
Coatcheck guy: mumblemumbleRed Sox are a waste of a team.
Me: Excuse you?
Coatcheck guy: I can't stand a team with no talent to speak of. When you compare them to our number of championships-
Me: I'd tell you where you can go and stick those rings, but I'm too much of a lady, but I'm sure you can figure it out.
Coatcheck guy: Number of World Series rings.
Me: Which means NOTHING. Our team is way more talented than you Yankees could even dream of being. The Red Sox will always be the better team.
Coatcheck guy: Number of World Series rings, and the Yankees have made it to the playoffs more.
Me: WHAT? Are you crazy? The Red Sox made it just as often and we came back from an 86-year losing streak. I'd like to see your over-paid Yankees do that.
Coatcheck guy: More talent and better players and oh, more rings.
Me: You buy your talent. The Sox-
Coatcheck guy: We don't buy our talent.
Me: The Sox will always be the better team.
Coatcheck guy: The Sox are the worst team and the Yankees-
Old guy: Um, excuse me, can I check my coat?
Me: (walking away) You can keep dreaming, Yankee-fan (said as an insult) but the Sox are and will always be the BETTER TEAM.
Coatcheck guy: You're team-
Me: (walking back) Is the best.
Old guy: Um...?
Me: (walking away again) The Red Sox are the best and you Yankee fans can just keep WISHING you were as good as us. So you keep dreaming, Yankee-fan-boy.
All said in the coatcheck room of the MFA. And we were pretty loud. XD
I don't think he was expecting me to be on my toes and ready to spar. Ah, but I had a delicious Dunks Iced Coffee and I had been sketching all afternoon and I'm Sicilian (as in my temper flares at the drop of a hat) and a Red Sox fan. He did not have an earthly chance. I am always ready to defend my team. And he was on my turf. I wish I told him to go back to New York and stay there. Cavone.
HMPH. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I don't know how to fight and I'm not some pink hat Red Sox fan! I was there for those boys through thick and thin, and always will be. I'm not some wishy-washy Yankee fan who wouldn't even support their team if they were losing. Those Boston boys are my boys even when they blow it.
Wednesday Night Macaroni
Ma: Well, how do you want the bread?
Me: I'll just make it.
Ma: Okay, here. (Walks away with bread)
Me: What are you doing? I need the bread! (Take it back)
Ma: I'm cutting off a piece for me and Allison.
Me: I wasn't going to use all of it. Now, I need the butter, the garlic, the garlic pepper, the onions, the parsley, that Italian seasoning mix, the Olive Oil-
Ma: We're out of Olive Oil.
Me: WHAT?! How can that even be possible?!
Ma: Well when you treat it like water...
Me: We had like three bottles.
So, this is how my life is every other Friday...
I like that she not only chose a Disney movie, but portrayed me as the Devil Kronk. (via girl-like-that:) Paula Sam Me.
Ah, l'amore della famiglia...
Rupes: why did gramps come over your house at 6:30 in the morning??????
Me: Nick had a thing at his school - a mass for appreciating Senior Citizens. So he invited Gramps. The Pope came... They shut down the banks in Taunton, they let a bunch of doves loose and fed everyone really expensive ambrosia...You didn't answer my other question, RUPES!
Jess: the pope? like the guy joey saw in italy?
Dee: ♥ WOW I LOVE GRAMPS
Rupes: PAULA????? YOU TELLING LITTLE FISHY STORIES, CAUSE I'S SURE THAT "The Pope came... They shut down the banks in Taunton, they let a bunch of doves loose and fed everyone really expensive ambrosia... " CAUSE IF YOU ARE, THERE SHALL BE TROUBLE!!!! I'm at home to answer your question.
Jess: Robs, I see your point. This story does sound fishy. What's a matter, Paula, trying to get everybodyinvolved in this convo? Smells verry fishy to me!
Chiefy: yeah i think its fishy to, whenever the pope comes to america its really big news and i have heard nothing
Joe-Joe: ...and why would he go to taunton?
Chiefy: haha i know, i think in all the history ever of popes visting the united states only one came to boston
Dee: what the!!!!!!
Chiefy: danielle if the desire to contribute to the famiy thread is present then please make the comment which is relevent
Joe-Joe: i conquer
Jess: PAULA DON'T BE FUNNY!!!!
Dee: why you guys tlking bout the pope? oh my god i have problems in school. anyone wanna no them? >:(
Joe-Joe: jessica it is waaay past your bedtime, i suggest you hit the old dusty trail
Dee: wow joeyy ur mad dumb
Chiefy: enlighten us danielle with your problems...
Joe-Joe: judging by your colloquialism, it is indeed you who are amongst the unedeucated
Chiefy: good vocabulary joe
Joe-Joe: yea, i figured danielle wouldnt even understand that i was insulting her if i wrote it like that
Chiefy: haha thats classic, the educated will always win! what does colloquialism mean?
Joe-Joe: its a low form of diction, much like the kind danielle uses. an equivelant would be like someone from the south using "y'all" or a bostonian saying "wicked pissah". generally it has to do with where you live, in this case its the land of illitteracy
Jess: hahaha u guys crack me up
Chiefy: jess i believe joe told you to go to bed
Joe-Joe: indeed i did
Jess: well i go to skool later then he does so i believe he should be the one in bed and uhh shouldnt u be at emt class anyway?
Joe-Joe: my teacher was sick so we left early...
Jess: fine then go to bed
Me: Ah, so glad to see you're lovely words and faces on the thread. And the Pope just wanted to hang with homedogs in Taunton, he didn't want a big flub-dub and fuss, what I can I say. A teacher at Nick's school, Mr. Pinch, went to Theology school with the Pope back in the day and the other boys used to tease him a bit and Mr. Pinch is kind of a big guy with a heart of gold and he used to protect the Pope and they became life-long friends and so he called him for a favor. And do you mean Sea-Stories when you say Fishy? I know stories about the Sea... http://www.birdsnest.com/walrus.htm